Morning Has Broken

Unexpectedly it came and landed like a bomb.
Disbelief was accompanied by a hurricane of emotions and a storm of tears.
Pain and difficulties followed inside and out.

Diagnosis: Things are not well yet. Work remains to be done and issues resolved. There is still much to sort out.

Treatment: Reflection, prayer, forgiveness, perseverance 

I think I set a record today. I was on the trolley by 5:45 a.m. It took me forty minutes to leave my house, catch two cabs (one from my house to downtown and another one from downtown to the border), cross the border, make a bathroom stop and board the trolley - not bad! The trolley departed at 5:53 a.m., marking the start of my hour-and-a-half  trolley ride.

The sun has been rising a few minutes past six. When will morning break today? In the meantime, I prepare myself to go over my scripts - again - as the passenger next to me reads the newspaper and the one across from me reads El Conde de Montecristo. 

Update: The Weather Channel reports sunrise having been at 6:33 a.m.  I got off at my stop and was about to cross the street when I realized I had left my lunchbox on the trolley. Run, Chaparrita, Run! I made it to the trolley, got my lunchbox…but didn’t get to get off the trolley on time. I had to get off at the next stop and then head back to my stop. My "calabacitas con arroz" were worth it.

One afternoon, one event, about 150 people, many smiles, a flood of memories, including some rather painful ones.

–*–

No me alcanzaba el estambre ayer en el camión al regresar a casa. Venía haciendo una bufanda, que será para mí y no para vender como las demás que he hecho últimamente, y a la vez aguantándome las ganas de llorar. Detesté encontrarme en esa situación de sentir la necesidad de llorar y no estar en el lugar adecuado para ello. Pero qué tal en cuanto llegué a casa. Pobres gatos, creo que se espantaron. Hoy también lloré y no dudo que siga así lo que resta del mes. Oh well. And no, it’s not P.M.S. You could say I am learning about anniversary reactions in a very hands-on way.

–*–

It’s been a bizarre weekend. It felt great to have done everything on my to-do-list for today. Bien dicen que al que madruga, Dios le ayuda. I’m up since 5:30 a.m. I even managed to squeeze a nice, long nap in the middle of the day. I need to get used to being alone again. I guess this weekend was good practice for that.

–*–

For a while she tried to put the puzzle together by placing all the other pieces around one particular piece. She was then forced to try another strategy. Now, she can’t seem to make that piece fit in with the rest of the puzzle. What happened?

I have been pleasantly surprised three times today. The first surprise was a change in our activities for the day at work. I was cramming a script I should have memorized last night when a co-worker informed me of the CPR and First Aid training we would be undergoing today. This translated into 1) no longer having to stress over the script and 2) finally getting a chance to learn something so valuable, in that I would leave the office with the basics for saving lives and helping in medical emergencies.

The second surprise was the training not taking so long, allowing us to go home a couple of hours early. This was appreciated even more because I had offered to go check on my sister - my mom’s spoiled cat, Coco - today after work. I had prepared myself in the morning for another long and busy day, but all that changed with the shorter work day.

The me-dejó-el-ojo-cuadrado surprise was upon boarding the bus to Playas as I, most certainly, came across the outlier in cab and bus drivers in Tijuana. My ears are normally "treated" (yeah right!) to the more popular radio stations in the city, particularly those playing banda music. But, today (I’m still in shock) I listened to classical music on the way home. Talk about a nice way to start the weekend!

I’ve been treated to live playing of beautiful music on an accordion and, now, to classical music on Tijuana’s "first-class" public transportation. I just might be treated to Miles Davis one of these days. Se vale soñar, ¿no?

I’ve survived another week of 4 hours of sleep per night. Doubt I can keep this much longer. Yes, I NEED to go to bed earlier.

Today I completed my third week at my new job. The day ended on a high note as one of my supervisors suggested I apply for the open supervisor position. Of course my ego tripled, at least, in size when he mentioned I would be a good candidate (even though I am barely starting out on the certification requirement for the project) because I am a quick learner, bright and very dedicated. I guess being the one who lives out of the country, is without a car and yet is the first one of the team to get to work each morning on average does qualify me for being a dedicated and committed employee! :p It felt nice to have my effort acknowledged.

Other good news were some of my scarves being sold. Talk about great timing since Bobby needs more medicine and tick/flea treatment.

But the cherry on the cake was meeting my little friend Lucca. I was looking forward to meeting him even before he was born. He’s a lovely, strong and healthy baby. Can’t wait to have the chance to visit him again.

I am exhausted. I think I better get to bed before I crash on my desk. I also must get up very early tomorrow if I want a chance at those Morrissey concert tickets. Can’t believe he’s coming to Tijuana! 

http://www.212movie.com/

Hubo meses en que los días parecían ser eternos. Estos últimos meses siento que han pasado volando. Ya se acerca el primer aniversario de una fecha gris y me parece interesante ver cómo han cambiado las cosas en este tiempo. Puedo decir que he crecido bastante, aunque me falta mucho aún. También, después de mucho dolor, muchas lágrimas y muchas cajas de pañuelos desechables, puedo decir que he asimilado lo sucedido y he ido superándolo. No sé qué pase después, pero por el momento me enfoco en vivir y disfrutar un día a la vez.

Eso de disfrutar en ocasiones es difícil, especialmente si sigo teniendo que lidiar con enormes deudas, las dificultades de transporte y una que otra situación inesperada que surge. Sin embargo, he decidido no volver a permitir que un solo incidente opaque las muchas fuentes de luz que iluminan mi vida día a día.

Y aunque mis días ahora empiezan a las 4 a.m. (¡cuando antes me iba a dormir a esa hora!), pierdo entre 4 y 5 horas al día para trasladarme de la casa al trabajo y luego de regreso, uno de mis perros está delicado de salud, sigo atrasada con la renta, le debo dinero a más personas y el calor que ha hecho estos últimos días me desgasta bastante, doy gracias por mi familia y todos mis seres queridos, mi nuevo trabajo y mis compañeros de trabajo, mis plantitas aguantadoras que me siguen regalando sus lindos colores y hermosas flores (aunque no las riegue con la frecuencia debida) y esas 9 miradas tan cariñosas y curiosas que me reciben cada día al llegar a casa.